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Looking to make the bride and groom chuckle with your wedding card message? You’ve come to the right place!
Weddings can be serious affairs, but your message doesn’t have to be.
Inject a bit of humor into their big day with these clever and witty ideas.
Let’s dive into the world of funny wedding wishes that are sure to get laughs!
Funny Quotes for the Big Day
Sometimes, the best way to get a laugh is through a well-timed quote. These quotes are perfect for adding a touch of humor to any wedding card. They bring a smile while still conveying a heartfelt sentiment, which makes them a great choice for couples with a good sense of humor.
Whether you’re cracking a joke about marriage or poking fun at coupledom, these quotes have you covered. Get inspired by some of the funniest one-liners and share them with the newlyweds who love to laugh together.
These quotes are tried-and-true favorites that remind us of both the humor and joy that come with marriage.
1. “Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurassic Park.” – Perfect for the couple who knows that every marriage comes with its surprises.
2. “Keep the wife happy and life is a happy wife.” – A humorous play on words that every married couple can relate to.
3. “Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener.” – A witty reminder that marriage can be an enlightening experience!
4. “Marriage: when dating goes too far.” – Light-hearted, this quip is perfect for long-time couples finally tying the knot.
5. “Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes.” – Ideal for the bride who knows she’ll be keeping him in check.
6. “Congrats! Remember, marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.” – A laugh-out-loud wish perfect for the shopaholic wife.
7. “As you wed, remember, you can’t put your arms around a memory but you can definitely frame it.” – A soft reminder of the joys and quirks of married life.
8. “Remember: love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.” – This clever twist is bound to earn a chuckle from the couple.
9. “May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever.” – A sweet yet amusing wish fit for timeless lovebirds.
10. “Happy marriage! Welcome to the secret club where you show at least one person your worst and hope they don’t run away!” – Perfect for those who appreciate honesty and humor in a relationship.
11. “Marriage: when ‘you have my word’ is no longer useful, because one of you won’t have enough words eventually.” – A witty nod to the communication challenges that can arise.
12. “Congratulations on finding someone else to repeatedly absorb your weirdness!” – A humorous ode to finding someone who appreciates your quirks.
13. “Two become one: one set of expectations, one bank account, and one channel.” – A tongue-in-cheek look at the delights of shared lives.
14. “You may now update your Facebook status to ‘in a marriage’.” – A digital-age friendly chuckle for the social media savvy couple.
15. “Marriage is being in love for the rest of your life. But remember, one always forgives the other for leaving dishes out.” – A delightful insight for the couple who understands love’s true test.
Quotes may delight, but jokes bring extra cheer. Let’s explore hilarious jokes perfect for wedding wishes.
Hilarious Jokes to Punch Up Your Message
Sometimes a good-natured joke is all you need to brighten the happy couple’s day. Whether they have a shared sense of humor or just enjoy a good laugh, these light-hearted jokes will add a witty twist to your wedding card.
Choose a joke that matches the couple’s personality, or just pick one that makes you smile. Laughter can be the best gift of all, especially at a wedding!
Here are some clever jokes that celebrate the funny side of tying the knot and the adventures that lie ahead.
16. “Why do married people live longer? Because they can’t argue when they’re offside!” – A playful way to joke about those beloved “discussions” over the years.
17. “Marry someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life” – Highlights the joy of finding that one person you can tease forever.
18. “Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and spade!” – Crack a smile with this clever twist on traditional symbolism.
19. “What do late-night collapsible chairs and marriage have in common? They both might require some assembly once in a while.” – A tongue-in-cheek reminder of the work marriage sometimes needs!
20. “Congrats on a marriage made in heaven. Now, maintain that address change as the postal service loves!” – Perfect for the bride and groom moving into new roles and homes alike.
21. “Just remember: If you can’t find a party to crash, crash your own wedding party!” – Celebrate spontaneity with this humorous ode to self-made memories.
22. “You’ve got your ‘Happily Ever After’. Remember it’s not just a destination — it could be a never-ending amusement park!” – Lightens up the idea of the classic fairy-tale ending.
23. “Wallets lucky enough for marriage are always thin, as memories weigh more than money.” – An amusing perspective on financial adjustments post-tie-the-knot.
24. “Two become one – don’t forget to sign prenuptial agreements for your Netflix lists!” – A digital age quip for the binge-watching lovers.
25. “Every wedding party is organized chaos. Just remember, chaos should always be your stage name in this adventure!” – A nod to the unpredictable yet fun nature of marriage.
26. “Remember, it’s ‘for richer or poorer’ so laugh together when it’s for potato chips for dinner.” – A chuckle-worthy way of addressing the financial rollercoasters of life.
27. “Be thankful you didn’t have a sushi wedding cake. That could have been a raw deal!” – Pose a punny option to those seeking a quirky cake choice.
28. “Get ready to hear ‘Did you check with your spouse first?’ for every big decision!” – A humorous admission of life’s new chapter, shared together.
29. “May your life after marriage be less like a recipe and more like a loving impromptu kitchen disaster!” – Celebrate the adventurous nature of lifelong companionship.
30. “Enjoy the honeymoon stage while it lasts! Soon, ‘Who left the milk out?’ becomes the newest love language.” – A droll window into the daily life of a married couple.
Let’s now take a look at some funny anecdotes that will resonate with seasoned married couples.
Humorous Anecdotes and Sayings
Anecdotes can bring out laughter and relate to many different aspects of married life. Drawn from real-life humor, these sayings can capture those little moments of magic and madness that married couples relate to.
Share a witty anecdote with the happy couple to remind them that marriage is an engaging blend of shared stories, experiences, and smiles. Here are some anecdotes to share at their wedding for a memorable laugh:
From tongue-in-cheek advice to lessons learned through decades of wedded bliss, these sayings encapsulate the quirks of long-term relationships.
31. “Always remember to take the garbage out the night before trash day… or not. What matters is having fun tossing it to each other!” – Emphasizing the fun of shared chores.
32. “Marriage gives you that one person to spoon with… and then fight over whether the bed should be cold or hot!” – Captures the relatable ‘temperature duel’ that many couples face.
33. “I asked my husband what he wanted for our anniversary. He said ‘another year of extra gravy!’ Cue my never-ending pursuit of perfect turkey sauce.” – A humorous spin on gift giving quirks.
34. “There’s the correct way, the partner’s way, and the married way to do things!” – Enlightens the wisdom that’s needed to balance differences.
35. “Married life is finding that once you’ve found each other, what you lose is where your partner put the remote…” – Perfect for the blissfully distracted wanderers.
36. “I’ve realized that compromise in marriage means listing one more thing you’ve given away and one more Thing you’ve happily gained.” – Highlights the give-and-take nature of marriage with a cheeky twist.
37. “They say marriage is a relationship where one is always right, and the other is the husband.” – A classic joke that playfully acknowledges the ‘always right’ stereotype.
38. “Remember, a happy marriage is all about the right mix of laughter, compromise, and loads of inside jokes.” – This anecdote underscores the importance of shared humor.
39. “The best way to hold onto each other in the rollercoaster of married life is with hands full of popcorn.” – Encourages embracing life’s ups and downs with a smile.
40. “When you find out which side of the bed is yours, you also inherit all the mysteries lying underneath it!” – Celebrates the humorous little discoveries of cohabitation.
41. “Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown child who cannot be left unsupervised… ever.” – A light-hearted take on the childlike joy and silliness shared in a relationship.
42. “The secret to a happy marriage? A willingness to make mistakes and a sense of humor big enough to embrace them.” – Reminds couples to find joy in their imperfections.
43. “If you want to know who’s really in charge, just watch who decides the thermostat settings.” – Points out a common quibble with a humorous perspective.
44. “In marriage, arguments are less about being right and more about being hungry. Always.” – Jokes about how ‘hanger’ can spark conflicts in an amusing way.
45. “A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other—but they might give up on the last donut!” – Emphasizes enduring love with a playful twist.
These humorous anecdotes highlight the witty, charming, and sometimes ludicrous elements of married life, making them perfect for sharing with brides and grooms who appreciate a good laugh.